Part 1 - by Nikademus
Some might accuse me of picking on jim because I'm Inflexible.
I say TTTHHHFFFFFTTtt to that. It is not merely my Indomitable will forging ahead to balance the picture of world events, actually it's because I think I'm Invincible.
Yes, like a Lion I Couragiously step forward and grab the Tiger by the tail and confront Der Jim on his incessant pro-German policies.
Some say I'm the Queen of mean.
Well Mary, you aint seen nothing yet.
My Glorious campaign has only just started. To the critics, I am Indefatigable. I'll show all you Princesses what I'm made of.
The battle Royal has only just begun!
Man you people make me Furious. Gonna go speak Australian and crack open a can of Fosters beer to cool off.
Soccer? I'd rather go pick Kiwi's in New Zealand
Part II by Theodore
Aye, the British lads ...had such Good Hope that their Resolution would see them through; but in the end, when the Irresistable force met the immovable object, their Valiant efforts would see them through to a brilliant Triumph, and yet it was not to be, for the Implacable will of Letters and his band of battlecruiser barons broke down the enemy's Defence - indeed, on that day they gained their fame, they covered themselves with Glory as the Baron led them to a Magnificent result, felling the British Goliath and winning a victory that Caesar and Hannibal could only have dreamt about.
Albion swore Vengeance and sought out the German again, but could not find him. They searched high and low, from Hindustan to Zealandia to Hibernia to Africa to every end of the Commonwealth and in the cities of each Dominion, even through the streets of London, but he had vanished as surely as if he had gone to Mars or Jupiter.
He is a Formidable opponent, this German Warrior, who has so weakened the Bulwark that shields Britannia. Some swear him to be a Black Prince, while others acclaim him the equal of Lord Nelson. But that great man cannot sleep, nor Drake, nor any other, while the Baron roams abroad.
Part III by Nikademus
We must do what we must... To counter the Renown and Audacious Admiral Letters. Come to me, ye Britons, we must band together and Dread nought this man and his navy. Rest assured we will Repulse him should he dare venture out again to touch the sacred soil blessed by St Vincent
Like Bellerophon, with the fearceness of Orion, we will master the devil from across the waters and personally send him to visit Neptune in his watery Gin Palace under the Ocean
Are we not men of Iron? Let not one person, be they King, Baron, Duke, or a man named George, shirk his sacred duty in this time of War, lest they suffer the spite of the nation.
Rest assured, we will have Revenge Most probably on the V of May. Why? well just cause......
Part IV by Theodore
So it's to send Letters off... ...to Valhalla that you wish? Valorous though the Britons may be, you must know that there is no Marksman in your land who can compare with the Baron's Swift shooting. He wields Scimitar and Scythe and Spear; what a Sharpshooter is he! The Britons are Steadfast, but the Baron is a Whirlwind. Pounds Sterling are spent in vain, for he is both Sharpshooter and Tactician without equal, and in the end the Tumult of battle shall Swallow every last hull.
Part V by Nikademus
Dead Letters Office
Yes, like Molkte, stubborn.
like Seydlitz dashing and cunning.
Not since Goeben have we seen his likes. Boy i von-der what he'll do next? Probably Tann some more British hides to put up on his wall no doubt.
Maybe Hindenburg can keep him down but I doubt it. He's Der man after all. If Hindenburg so much as lifts a flinger at him you can bet he'll go running to the Kaiser who will Lut-zown on the crotchety old General and tell him kiss his Grosser Kurfurst.
I think that I shall never see
A plant as lovely as a limerick tree.
It blooms all year long
From here to Haiphong
And the fruits that it grows are free, are free!
I think that I shall never eat
A fruit as lovely as a limerick-tree sweet.
Its flesh is oh so tender
Especially in the month of September
Truly, tis a wonderful treat, a treat!
I think that I shall never inhale
A fragrance as lovely as a limerick-tree vale.
In the hollow it hovers
While the senses, it covers
Lifting all into bliss without fail, without fail!
I think that I shall never hear
A sound as lovely as when a limerick's near.
They provide much good humor
(Never mind contrary rumor)
So enjoy, and have no fear, no fear!